anxiety · family · health · mental health

Let’s be real

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a worrier my first memory was my mum going shopping to the supermarket and leaving me at home with my grandma, I remember thinking she was never coming back I cried and cried in reality she must have been gone a hour at the most.

This worrying grew with me it was like a weight on my shoulders I worried at school, I worried at lunch and I would worry if I wasn’t in bed at the same time everyday that something awful would happen. My only release from the worry was to dance. I loved to dance and went to lessons most days after school, during school I’d often feel sick with worry and spend my hours asking to be sent home but as soon as it got to dance time I was free my worry lifted and I would dance till I couldn’t dance anymore. Instead of being worried I channeled that worry into being the best, I was competitive but successful I drove my self to work harder to achieve and be the best.

Weekends would arrive and I would set of to competitions with my 7 costumes for my 7 solos, I always felt so proud as my mum made the most beautiful costumes but yet I look back now and I feel sad as that little girl who was driven to be the best was unliked by many at school and at dance when really I was just shy worried and anxious yet people took my weakness and used that to dislike me.

Most of my school years I was badly bullied for different reasons as I grew. I hated school and only went as I want to go to dance lessons, my heart was set and I was going to be a professional ballet/ contemporary dancer my name was well know in the competition circuits and I trained so hard to achieve where I wanted to be, my worry and anxiety drive my ambition. At 15 I auditioned for full time dance school and was offered full scholarship for two of my dream training schools. Everything was great then bang o was I’ll, I spent the summer coming up to moving away back wards and forwards to hospital having many different blood test, I had glandular fever but I didn’t recover as I was so burnt out.

I moved away to dance school but after 6 months had to move home I couldn’t cope my body was worn out at 16 I felt old my gp diagnosed me with m.e/chronic fatigue the consultant said I had burn out to much to young.

Looking back I had anxiety chronic anxiety, I suffered adrenaline flushed, shakes, viral unwellness the symptom list could go on. For 18 months I lost my life I didn’t leave the house I was isolated I lost all my friends, they wasn’t interested as I couldn’t go out or talk about the things they all enjoyed. My dream had stopped and I’d lost my way.

family · Food · healthy food

Happy birthday healthy cake

Its my husbands birthday this week and due to on going health problems he’s diet low in sugar ,fat and other things.

we still wanted to bake a cake and I love to experiment and make yummy snacks healthy  so we decided to make beetroot chocolate cake it taste amazing he didn’t even know till we told him. Fab if you have a fussy eater.

IMG_4609

Recipe

 

100ml sunflower oil or rapeseed oil

175g beetroots

150g dark soft sugar

200g self raising flour

50g cocoa powder

1 tbsp. baking powder

200g 0% fat natural yogurt

2 tsp vanilla extract

Method

1.peel,chop and boil the beetroot till soft. set aside to cool

2. pre heat the oven to 180c/160c/gas4

3. Once the beetroot has cooled down transfer to a food processor/hand blender and whizz to puree.

4. Add all the remaining ingredients ad stir till the mix is smooth.

5. Transfer the mix to a greased cake tin and bake for 50min-1hour or until a skewer comes out clean.

 

Let me know how you get on. Happy baking .

 

family · Homeschool

Why we homeschool.

I’ve been thinking about sharing about this as it’s something I’m asked often usually followed by many people’s negative opinions that firstly I haven’t asked for and secondly are there thoughts and that’s all they are as they have no experience of homeschool.

We homeschool because I choose to, was it a easy decision? For me yes, my husband no.

We have many a debate about it for years but it’s something I felt so strongly about.

My husband liked School he enjoyed the social side maybe more than lessons but overall did well, I on the other hand hated School was a constant victim of people’s bullying, struggled being dyslexic, felt unsupported by the teachers and struggled to make friends.

Some of that could be down to me and my personality i find social situations hard and keeping a conversation and friendships going don’t come easy to me. We as my husband is more sociable than I am.

Through my school years I was very driven I had one goal and that was to dance professionally no one at my high school had goals like that and I developed a lot of anxiety regarding School, being the target of one teachers obsession with my weight even though I ate like a horse they convinced most of the school I had a eating disorder till my Mum stepped in. My memory’s from school are not happy memories.

When I found out I was expecting School was a big issue for me so I stared to research other options. My son attend Steiner kindergarten and forest school kindergarten till the age of 7 part time which I often went along to and he loved.

It’s perfect for him being a sensitive child , the groups were small and quiet and he was able to explore and develop at his own pace, my son is also very dyslexic and is currently being assessed privately for support. Homeschooling for us has ment this hasn’t been a stressful time for him as he hasn’t been comparing his struggles to other children’s achievements like he naturally would in school.

We follow a semi strutted day and meet up with other homeschooling family’s in the area . My son has no social issues and is not behind other children like people are often quick to say.

He’s a little boy who’s developing at his own pace in to a his own happy person.

Homeschool is perfect for our family

family · Homeschool

A winter weekend

I suffer with very bad anxiety and phobias and struggle to go places that are busy with people. I get anxious about the thought of germs and feel more anxious inside in busy places.

We are lucky where we live that we don’t get very extreme weather and are still able to go out to explore.

I find being outside in the fresh air helps my anxiety and provides a good distraction as well as exercise.

My son loves being outside ( not as much as gaming) but he loves to explore. For Christmas he received a metal detector this weekend was spent looking for treasure to his sadness we didn’t find any. We can’t wait to take it to the beach once spring arrives and we head to our holiday lodge.

There’s so great local parks to explore local to us we are very lucky.

Here’s some pictures from our walk

The rest of the weekend has been spent baking banana bread and making soup.

Ready for the week back to work and homeschool activities.

family · Food

Hidden veg 🥣

Having a fussy child who wants healthy food but can’t manage to eat lumpy or crunchy food due to the texture can be hard, add in the mix of a husband who is currently unwell and has just had surgery but lives of junk food he’s not aloud meal times in our house are tough

Me and my boy put this recipe together yesterday and it made the most amazing tomato soup but added hidden veg

Recipe

6 large ripe tomatoes or a can of chopped tomatoes

1 large onion

2 cloves of garlic

2 leeks

1 red pepper

1 carrot

1 potato ( to thicken the soup)

1 tin of butter beans

Method

Sauté the onion for 5 minutes don’t let the onion burn add a little water and sunflower/rap seed oil.

Add the garlic and stir for a minute trying not to let the garlic brown

Add the tomatoes/chopped tomatoes stir together with the onions and veg

Then add the rest of the veg in to the pan. ( we choose these veg as they were spare in the fridge but you could add other vegetables)

Pour in the vegetable stock

A teaspoon of paprika

And black pepper to taste ( you can add other herbs or salt to taste)

Leave to simmer with the lid on for 1hr 30 min

Blend and serve

We serve ours with homemade crusty bread and balsamic vinegar.

Food

Beetroot chocolate cake 

I have a really picky eater. He will he lots of what he likes but struggles with textures. 

I often cook and hide hidden fruit and veg in food I know he likes. 

We recently made this cake together and it went down a treat 

250g beetroot 

200g plain flour

200g unsalted butter*, melted

100g dark brown sugar

3 large eggs

3 tbsp  good quality  cocoa powder

2tsp baking powder

1tsp vanilla extract

Icing sugar for dusting

:boil the beetroot until soft then blend with a hand blender and set aside to cool. 

Pre heat the oven to 180°C/Gas Mark 4. Grease and line a 23cm loose bottomed tin. 

Blend the butter and sugar together till they  are in a creamy texture, add the rest of the ingredients including the beetroot and mix till the mixture is well mixed and smooth consitancy 

Pour the mixture into the cake tin

Bake in the preheated oven for 45-50 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. The surface of the cake may have cracked a little. Allow the cake to cool for a few minutes in the tin before removing to a cooling rack.

You can also change this in to beetroot chocolate marble cake by separating the mixtures before adding the beetroot andchocolate  powder to one half of the mixture. 

Here’s a picture of ours. This was his 1st attempt at a cake him self ( with a little help from mum) 

Food

Fridge fried rice 


Fast quick and healthy 
I use any left over veg that’s in the fridge or frozen veg works just as good. 

75g rice ( I use brown)

150ml water

Mixed veg

2x eggs 

Veg oil

Soya sauce 

Spices to flavour

Measure the rice 

Rinse in a shiv in cold water 

Transfer the rice ton pan add the water and. bring to the boil, once the water is boiling reduce to simmer and let the water evaporate. Once the water has disappeared and the rice is dry transfer the rice to a bowl and leave to cool. 

Add all the chopped veg ( I used carrots, celery,spring onions, garlic , pepper) but you can use anything you like. 

Add a dash of oil to the work and start to cook the veg once the veg had softened add the cold rice and stir fry. Flavour the rice to you taste using spices we added chilli powder, black pepper and a little paprika. Add soya sauce to taste I always add a little and the serve some on the table if people want more. 

While stir fry the veg and rice which the eggs together and add to a frying pan making a omelette once cooked through slice the egg and add it to the fried rice, then serve this can gf served as a side dish or a main. 

It’s full of protein , veg and carbs perfect for a growing family and the above will easily feed four.